All work and no play in Rocky River
makes Meri go off when the word of an eight-year-old is taken over hers. Seriously, when someone can’t tell a coherent story, and can’t tell time, why are you going to believe him over me? *stringofcusswords* *futileplanningtoescapeintothenightwithoutlookingback* Please, someone fucking come from the East side and rescue me. Or, end of Summer, get here fucking FASTER!
I totally love my sister, don't get me wrong,
But I really miss having my own room, and sleeping naked.
People I miss:
You (So much.)
Dashboard Confessional- Hands Down “And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew that you meant it.”
I like you so much?
I miss you like crazy.
She thinks a lot of things. It’s the vocalizing that gets her.– Jane Aiello
Sometimes I think my life would be easier if I...
But wasting my words on pointless shit meant only to fill the silence would surely eventually wear out the power of my statements. And when I speak, damnfuckit, I want people to fucking listen.
I'm averaging 1.2 meals a day
of low-fat, sugar-free, not-actual-food shit. Plus 16 hours of conciousness. Plus 6 hours of actual endless on my feet work, sweating out all my water weight because it’s always 100+ degrees there. All this equals out to the flattest stomach and the narrowest waist I’ve had since the 10th grade. Come on hips, fall in line, and we can take back the pants we loved, but haven’t been...
Brand New- The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot The soundtrack to my current headspace. “I hope you find out what you want; I already know what I am.”
I'm not crying because I think it will make things...
I’m crying because I just plain don’t know what else to do anymore. Just let me cradle myself and sob on this rocky bottom, just for a little while. And when enough time has passed, I’ll resume my efforts to climb upward.
Even a smart, skeptical girl can be duped
by enough pretty words.
I tried to tell myself to play it safe.
Don’t get sucked in. Don’t get carried away. But the truth is, I did all the things I told myself not to. And now I’m back where I was, with even less stability than I had before, and I’m not scared the way I was last time- this time, I’m fucking terrified.
People never change. They just find new ways to lie to you.
Frankee- Fuck You Right Back I had no idea she ever actually responded to Eamon’s “Fuck It”. Too bad her version is all kinds of awful. And, if we’re being honest, she really does sound like a ho. “Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud. Fuck it, I faked it. Aren’t you proud? Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back. Well guess what yo, your sex...
I’ve never actually fought with someone I was dating. When a problem comes up, we’ve always just broken it off. I don’t think I even know HOW to fight with a guy I’m seeing. I just sort of assume that’s how it works: He does something that doesn’t make me happy, I tell him it made me unhappy, and then he breaks up with me because it’s easier than...
Can you teach me how to Dougie?
It’s not that I’m making a concious effort to ignore you. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings or anything. But, you’re 8, and I’m 20, and I don’t know how to talk to you, so I don’t. You like video games and cartoons and Star Wars. I like men, and Bravo, and Judd Apatow films. Surely you can see how it’s hard for me to find any common ground with...
Future of Forestry- Set Your Sails “Set your sails upon the mighty winds of May. Set your sails upon the hope of June. Set your sails upon the air of warm July. Set your course for Heaven’s shore.” A song that raises my spirits.
Dear Social Network,
I’m sorry for being such an awkward online chatter. And texter. And person in general. Talk to me in person- I’m [slightly] better.
Today marks the beginning of my smile rejuvenation...
I’ll start wearing my retainers again. I’ll start using whitestrips again. I’ll stop letting two and a half awful years of braces in what should have been the beginning of my sexually active years go to waste. (What? Like you didn’t know I wasn’t getting any in high school when I had a big ol’ metal smile? Believe it or not, no one was rushing to get on those...
Stop taking pictures of pictures.
It’s called a “scanner”, and it’s been around longer than the digital camera. There’s no excuse for posting pictures with the flash whiting out the center. PS- Stop taking pictures of your computer screen, too. It’s called a screen shot. Just push that handy “Print Screen/SysRq” button right next to F12 and then paste that image into something, and...
Why so many Hawaiian print shirts? They’re ugly, and there is really no appropriate occasion to wear them. Unless it’s a joke at a luau, which I know it’s not, because you wouldn’t be paying the dry cleaner $6 to clean a shirt that was just the punchline of a one-time-only joke.
I cannot be chipper at 7 in the morning.
Hell, I can’t even be awake.
I actually really hate the sound of children's...
I describe myself as "insufferable" pretty often.
According to Google, if I’m insufferable, I cannot be the following things: Appealing Attractive Charming Pleasant Disarming Bearable Sounds about right.
"Everything happens for a reason."
That doesn’t make it hurt any fucking less when shit hits the fan.
If you're going to title your facebook album...
like “me”, don’t put pictures in it that don’t fit the title, like, pictures of your new dog.
Hi. Men? Let's have a little chat.
I think it’s great that you provide for your women. That’s very noble, and admirable- keep up the good work. However, I think you [foolishly] believe that’s enough. That because you pay the bills, she can’t ever rightfully leave you. This is where we have a problem. That dinner? That dinner was great. This apartment we live in? It’s lovely, really. And I love the fact...
If I was looking for safe, I wouldn’t be sticking my dick through a wall.– Frank Reynolds
I like my ripped jeans.
I don’t like when my ripped jeans get ripped any more than they were at the time of purchase.
And just like that
I can no longer say with certainty what it is that I stand for.
I like to speak spanish.
I like to greet people in spanish, and thank people in spanish, and ask them how they are in spanish. But sometimes this leads people to believe I speak spanish. Instead of just admitting to the fact that I took French in high school, not spanish, I use the fallback phrase of “Nos sotros somos amigos [et nada mas].” It either makes things really awkward, or really hilarious.
The only problem with being a nice, sane girl
is that it doesn’t teach you how to deal with the cruel crazies of the world.
Filthy swagger can’t be squashed. I cannot be sweet and soft-spoken,...– Someone’s blog from 2004. Holy fuck, there are two of me in this world.
We're all going to be just fine.
I promise you that.
You let it go because
I’m not a brunette. I hope when you’re sleeping alone and lonely, you remember the nights when you weren’t this way, the nights I was there, and I hope you feel like the ass that you are when you remember that you didn’t want to stay with me because…because why? Because you were “intellectually, but not physically attracted to me.”
I have come up with the ultimate (and probably...
If you intend to spend a good couple of hours rewatching episodes, every time Hurley says “dude”, you take a shot. Every time the numbers come up, you take a shot. And every time Jack cries and/or can’t take a fucking punch without losing conciousness, you take a shot. Though getting drunk while watching Lost is probably not the best way to figure out what’s going on.
If I want to do something, but I'm not sure it's a...
(meaning I know it’s a bad idea), I’m going to run it by you first. And if you tell me it’s a bad idea and not to do it, I’m going to do it anyway because realistically my mind was already made up, and I was just hoping you might validate me.
dearmeat: You’re the reason I drink. Sincerely, America